I fully understand your to-be-or-not-to-be quandary. It's positive, as it means you are alive. When you are alive, you experience life and are fully in touch with life. When something is amiss or missing in life, you instantly become aware of it.

That's where the appeal of "Love Is in the Air, in a Village" lies.

We, living in the cities, are too far removed from the reality of life, the life that our ancestors lived for millions of years. Urbanisation is a very young process. So, when you see what goes on in a village, when you feel the "earthiness" of the people portrayed in the drama, some memory, in both the conscious mind and the subconscious mind, is brought back, and it chimes with the yearning in your heart.

There's some sort of "completeness" about that life, which is missing in today's urban life. It's self-contained and comforting.

Now, if you watch Jia Zhangke's "Still Life" (San1 Xia2 Hao3 Ren2, or Good People of the Three Gorges), you'll find out how that life in the village becomes the life we are unfamiliar with, in cities.

But don't worry, we, as a race, are evolving still and the city life is a testing ground for each of us. If we can find warmth in a cold place, find solace in an emotional desert, and find purpose in a pointless reality, we triumph. When we triumph, we become "whole". We will never own what is external to us; we must never lose what is inherent in us.

I've also had some quiet weeks, devoted to translation and meditation. This has been a precious few weeks for me.