关于非常令人头痛的“思路”这个词，如果上下文允许，可以考虑用：
logic
或
vision
不妨试一试，看看感觉如何。 当然，这是假定你已经试过mental approach, thought process, thinking, philosophy等等，都不合适，那不妨再试试这两个。
另外，我刚刚下载了“谷歌拼音输入法”，连网上的新名词儿都有，而且还在不断增补中，好用到极点！！！（谁用谁知道，跟蚁力神差不多--天呐，这个拼音输入法连“蚁力神”都有，看看“我晕”有没有，哇，也有！）
今后我的博客上如果有文章的话，那么中文内容的占比一定会因此而有所增加。
顺便说一下，上面的“不断”一词，在英语中对应的是continual，而不是continuous。这还要感谢Longman词典，用图示的方式作了辨析，一看就明白，而且印象很深。
不过在这个语境中，还是用regularly要比on a continual basis更好。

Received a big surprise from one of my clients yesterday... a deluxe Christmas hamper! Here's a photo to prove it.

“......曾经经历了一些风雨”
可以译为：
... has gone through some stormy episodes.
如果读者是英国人，这里的episodes可以用patches取代。

也许我是南京人，对叶兆言的《一九三七年的爱情》情有独钟，其他看过这本书的人至多表示：嗯，叶兆言嘛，叶至诚的儿子、叶圣陶的孙子，将门出虎子，文笔还是不错的。

这本书自从在1996年《收获》杂志第四期上发表以来，在中国似乎没有多少人关注，读过的就更少了。与此同时，在意大利某个名牌大学，凭着研究叶兆言（当然少不了论述一下《一九三七年的爱情》），就可以拿到硕士学位。

与此同时，英文版也出来了（2004年出版），英文书名是：Nanjing 1937: A Love Story，完全符合我心目中这个书名的英译。该书的英文简介还可以（虽然有用畅销书封底的那些公式化表述匆匆草就交差之嫌），摘录如下：

A masterpiece by one of China's bestselling contemporary novelists, Nanjing 1937 tells the epic story of a passionate courtship played out against the backdrop of one of the century's most harrowing scenes of war.

Ding Wenyu is a philandering professor famous for storming out of class if there aren't enough pretty girls to teach. When he attends the wedding of the beautiful Ren Yuyuan, he falls hopelessly in love with her. Embarking with single-minded resolve to win her heart, he writes daily love letters and makes unabashed overtures to no avail, all the while blissfully unaware of the mounting threat of the Japanese, whose siege of the historic capital city will result in the rape of thousands and murder on an unimaginable scale. A love story devastatingly linked to a nation's inexorable fate, this swirling tempest of a novel moves us from antic heights to tragic depths while vividly evoking a prosperous China on the brink of political upheaval.

好了，废话少说，想看的就请光临：http://book.kanunu.cn/html/2007/0110/4783.html

Caught on camera, ages ago. I guess the chance of this guy visiting my blog and seeing this clip is pretty slim... so I don't risk having my face bashed in!

Night scene at Hongdong Cliff, Chongqing. Hard to beat.

One of the famous uphill (literally) challenges of Chongqing.

China is known the world over as the Land of Bicycles. Chongqing is probably THE exception to the rule, among large cities. That also explains why this city is home to not one, but several, motorbike manufacturers.

You either walk, or use a powered vehicle.

This is a photo I took inside the "thumbs-down" hotpot restaurant in Chongqing. It would have been alright, if these people had been friendlier... you know, the warm and comfy ambience inside an old-fashioned eatery with laid-back but friendly waiters and waitresses. But it wasn't the case with this one.

This is about Chongqing... or, specifically, about the famous, perhaps overrated, Chongqing speciality - Hotpot a la Chongqing.
Overall impression: It leaves much to be desired in the department of hygiene. If you go for the original "Red Stock" (reddened by chilli, of course), then you must accept that the stock (including the oil, grease, chilli, garlic, other people's saliva and what-have-you in it) is recycled... what do you get in return for this level of hygiene, or lack of it? Apparently, it tastes better, hence the name Lao Huoguo (Time-Honoured Hotpot), and you pay nothing for the stock.
If, however, you are willing to fork out 20 yuan for the stock, you can have fresh ingredients for the broth and it normally comes in the form of "Mandarin Duck" hotpot - with compartmentalised spicy-and-tame flavours: There is a free-standing cylindrical container in the centre of the chafing dish, completely insulated from the rest of the container. The rest of the pot looks mean and menacing, but this oasis in the centre, pristine and gentle, brings comfort to the chilli-phobes.
Thumbs up: Um, I am not sure.
Thumbs down: Definitely the Wangpai Zhengzong Dongzi Lao Huoguo (literally, Ace-Grade Authentic Cave Old Hotpot), in the vicinity of Jiefangbei (Liberation Monument). I will upload a photo of the staff and you can kind of suss out the ambience and decide if it's your cup of tea.

這位老婆婆，專門收集紙箱。她的“地界”就在我家附近一帶，其中包括兩家糕餅店，所以每天斬獲頗豐。尤其在中秋節之前，月餅箱子很多。
有天我下班回家，途經這一帶，看她端坐在一堆紙箱中，端著飯盒正在吃飯。她使勁兒往嘴裏扒著飯，時而環顧自己的戰利品，臉上漾著無比的滿足和歡樂。

前阵子，一位同事告诉我，大陆现在有一句流行语：“你太有才了！”出处是赵本山和宋丹丹的春晚小品。
这句话可以是挖苦，也可以是绝对真诚，表达滔滔江水般的敬佩...
她问我该怎么翻。我想了一下，觉得这个词比较贴切：
Awesome!
正说反说都可以。
这让我想起英国灰色喜剧 Extras（其实挺黑色，但又不能算黑色，我就把它定性为灰色），香港译为《摄位人》，就是跑龙套的。其中不得志的男主角，身边有位女同事，头脑简单、为人纯朴、菩萨心肠，但成天帮倒忙，等到男主角告诉她，她又无意之中破坏了他的计划之后，她还不明白是怎么回事，对方只好将里面的玄机解释给她听，她听完总是佩服得不得了，说：That's really clever! 男主角听了这句，啼笑皆非，只能 ---- 晕！
她的这句话可以译为：你太有才了！

我的翻譯工作是從1985年開始的，當時是在母校用手工方式編譯詞典：以一本大部頭的詞典為藍本，然後參照七本其他的權威詞典（包括韋氏、牛津等），用卡片的形式，將每一個詞條的每一個義項寫下來，然後逐一對照其他七部詞典的同一個詞條下的對應義項，工作量驚人自不待言，而且整個詞典編譯組只有一台機械打字機，根本幫不上忙。若干年後，在香港一家翻譯機構供職，每天（一周五天）翻譯兩千多字，連續五年；然後在英國八年，每年翻譯60萬到80萬字，我的客戶可以從A字母一直排到Z字母。有朋友來玩，走在街上，一輛卡車開過去，我說：這輛車裏面裝的是Perkins引擎，説明書是我翻譯的。天上飛機飛過去，我說：這飛機的起落架，説明書是我翻譯的。就口譯而言，從偷渡客被遣送回國前的上訴案到白金漢宮的國宴，什麽都做過，但真正困難的是那日復一日埋頭電腦前的耕耘，例如：對於詞典中某個字曠日持久的推敲（有一個例句曾經推敲了兩個星期）、精算師考卷翻譯的責任之重大，以及那些技術性極強的一個個會議（例如：納米/奈米技術、中醫中藥現代化、集成/積體電路板研討會），等等。
而這一切全部築基於翻譯的幾條基本原則：中文、英文基本功要扎實扎實再扎實；博聞強記；帶著興趣拓展知識面；以及我的恩師李北達先生的一句話：看到原文，第一步是用目標語言中的近似語法和結構盡量往上靠，靠不上去再考慮拐個小彎，小彎也沒有，再考慮拐個大彎。
有很多年輕人（嗯，我也不老），問我學好英文的訣竅。我說：我先問你兩個問題。 （1）你認爲你需要英文嗎？（2）你熱愛英文嗎？
如果兩個問題的答案都是肯定的，我再教你secrets!
我在這裡賣了一個關子，其實訣竅很簡單...... 也就是這兩個問題的答案哪！

面朝大海，春暖花开
Facing the Sea, in the Vernal Warmth and Floral Spree
作者：海子
Author: Hai Zi

从明天起，做一个幸福的人
喂马，劈柴，周游世界
从明天起，关心粮食和蔬菜
我有一所房子，面朝大海，春暖花开
Tomorrow and beyond, I shall BE a happy man
Firewood I shall chop, my steed I shall feed,
And the world, I shall cover with my feet
Tomorrow and beyond, I shall take more interest
In what I chew and what I eat
I have a house, facing the sea
In the vernal warmth and floral spree
从明天起，和每一个亲人通信
告诉他们我的幸福
那幸福的闪电告诉我的
我将告诉每一个人
Tomorrow and beyond, I shall correspond with
Each and every person I miss
To speak to them of my bliss
What the lightning of joy has whispered in my ear
I shall relay to all who are dear
给每一条河每一座山
取一个温暖的名字
陌生人，我也为你祝福
愿你有一个灿烂的前程
愿你有情人终成眷属
愿你在尘世获得幸福
我也愿面朝大海，春暖花开
I shall give every river, every mountain
A feel-good pet name
Stranger, I also wish you well
I wish you a bright future
I wish you success in courting the one you love
I wish you happiness in this mortal world
I, also, wish to face the sea
In the vernal warmth
And floral spree

After much humming and hawing, I decided to get the Samsung Q1 UMPC when the price gave me a pleasant surprise. Now I must justify this purchase. Since UM stands for ultra mobile, I think it's a good idea to load it up with all the mainstream applications for remaining connected while on the go, such as Skype! And this is the first blog composed on the new gadget... bloody exhausting! Signing off!

Today is significant because my son and I discovered that on this day, 15th August 2007, we were of the same height and same weight. To mark this occasion, we have decided to co-author a blog now.

We have been told by many people that drinking one's own urine is very conducive to one's health. We started wondering today: If urine becomes a commercially available product, like beer, what should the label actually say?

These are some of our thoughts (in random, illogical order):

Fresh Human Urine
(Obtained from strictly screened healthy individuals, with vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and live enzymes)
I'm Lovin' It
Finger Lickin' Good!
It's a Whopper!
Some Say It's Heaven!
(1) Best served cold;
(2) Shake well before consumption;
(3) Always read the label;
(4) Keep it out of reach of children;
(5) For oral consumption only;
(6) 30% prepared from concentrate, 70% freshly squeezed;
(7) Sedimentation may occur, but will not compromise the quality or efficacy of product;
(8) All natural, no added flavourings or colours;
(9) Recommended by all dentists;
(10) Add sugar to taste;
(11) In the unlikely event of adverse reaction, consult a doctor;
(12) For each dose, drink a generous amount;
(13) May cause sting if in contact with eye; douche with copious amount of clean water;
(14) Close lid after use;
(15) Store under refrigeration, or fermentation may occur.

Warning: May contain nuts. May stain fabrics.

不知为什么，对自己的这句翻译感到挺自豪的：

美国对华投资的行业结构

Distribution of US investment in China by sector

Take Two... as follow-up to the previous post, in my second message to the same friend on the same topic:

Indian historians are indebted to Xuang Zang and, before him, Fa Xian (法显). Apparently, the record of Indian history would have been more fragmented without those two.

My study was also motivated by curiosity. I noticed certain phenomena that I wanted to make sense of. So many sects of Buddhism speak of scriptures, mantras, icons, other "realities", to which so many believers are attached. This seems to me contradictory to the fundamental tenets of Buddhist philosophy, although the argument is that you are first attached to something good, or more desirable, or less injurious, before becoming detached, because this something has some built-in mechanism of paradox, whereby you will be detached of it when you are attached to it. I have found that it's only partly true and very much depends on the aptitude of the student. So, inevitably, those without such aptitude who continue to hold on to it for dear life till the end of their lives are comforted with the theory that they are bound for heaven nevertheless because of their faith. And, inevitably, the issue of "Ultimate Reality" and substantiality comes up and indeed, all leading religions in the world are agreed on this principle - the ultimate reality of god, allah, some powerful buddha or bodhisattva who IS, or is in tune with, the ultimate reality and therefore has infinite power to save the worthy ones, and the worthy ones only.

Hence my decision to get to the bottom of it. I have been told that this "bottom" doesn't exist. But I want to find out for myself.

给朋友的电邮，粘贴如下：
Thanks for the encouragement and the reminder... I knew I could tell you and get a positive response. Most people would, I imagine, be "scared" when topics of consciousness and life and death come up in a conversation. That's why I keep it to myself. The good thing is, because of my experience with Qigong, I can temper my meditation with daily Qigong practice, so it's more fun.

According to Bertrand Russell's reasoning, people like the Buddha are perpectually faced with an insurmountable dilemma when attempting to explain their experience in one state to an audience who are in another state, because to do the explanation, they have to necessarily come out of the first state and once they are out of that state, their experience ceases. It's very much like waking up to recount a dream - much is lost and much is distorted. You know what the Buddha did? He resorted to similes, anecdotes and repetitions, over and over again. Such similes, anecdotes and repetitions abound in Buddhist scriptures and if you are to read them, you will be bored to tears and driven crazy.

The gist, actually, is very straightforward - impermanence of all phenomena (and laws governing such phenomena), unsatisfactoriness (of being, of life, because of the aforementioned impermanence, as it's human nature to aspire towards perpetuality, which is an illusion or a conjured-up reality) and nonsubstantiality (which is in the same strain as impermanence, except that it's more personal - it's the nonsubstantiality of "self", including the individual self, "Atman" in Sankrit, and the universal self, "Brahma" in Sanskrit).

In Chinese, they are 无常，苦，无我.

Being literate in English and being exposed to related literature in a language other than Chinese is a blessing, isn't it?

In the original Buddhist philosophy, there's only one "ultimate" rule, namely, causality [因果法则 or, if you want to sound cool, 缘生法/缘起法]. That's all. It's atheism, through and through. But its later ramifications turned it into a religion. It started off as a philosophy (in theory) and an "order" (in practice). But human beings need faith more than they need truth. Buddhism, as a religion, came into being. The Pureland Sect (净土宗), for example, is very much a Chinese version of Christianity. As I have not come to any conclusion about Christianity, I can't say I have formed a definitive opinion of the Pureland Sect. But between the lines, you can suss out what I might be thinking: Release/nirvana comes when you truly understand impermanence, unsatisfactoriness and nonsubstantiality. You live like a normal person and may react to and interact with the world like anyone else, but there is a core in you that is no longer affected/shaken by external stimuli, so you have the ultimate peace in your inner world and that is pureland, bathed in infinite light. It never was, never is, and never will be outside our "mind". But Mahayana (大乘佛教) would immediately denounce my argument as attachment to causality (执于缘生法). That might be so, but one must not jump the gun... It's a process of thesis, antithesis and synthesis (正题、反题、合题）as in Hegelian philosophy and I'll get there one day. Somehow, I sense that Chan Buddhism may be the gateway to the true essence of Buddhism and the real essence may lie in 唯识宗, aka 法相宗, founded by 玄奘 himself. You wonder why he bothered to set up his own sect, which soon lapsed into oblivion because no one could get it. However, my reservation is about the "ultimate reality" that 法相宗 talks about. The Buddha was reticent about the ultimate reality, for a good reason definitely. The ultimate reality runs the risk of becoming a de-personified god or divinity. The Buddha said - regarding ultimate "self", if all experiences are absent (i.e. there's no frame of reference), can you sense that self? No. If not, how do you know it exists? He posed it as a question. He did not answer it. Clever guy!

In a nutshell, the Buddha reached enlightenment by three means: (1) ESP (extrasensory perception, 神通), (2) reasoning and inferences based on ESP-derived experiences, and (3) predecessors' accounts of their experiences, for reference only. With ESP, he saw the causal links between phenomena, which proved the law of causality; through reasoning, the law of causality was elaborated upon; and by referring to sages' experiences, he was able to confirm, refute or modify them and improve his own system.

The importance of ESP to the Buddha's enlightenment may come as a surprise, because we often hear that Buddhism discourages pursuit of 神通. But the fact is that without ESP, there's no Buddha. But this is no average ESP, it's ESP of a higher order, attained at the end of 四禅定. At lower levels, ESP is tainted with human instincts, namely, death instinct and pleasure instinct (both the Buddha and Freud were agreed on this point), and illusions will cloud the seer. Interestingly, God was created because of these instincts.

That'll lead to another topic...

I must sign off here... I'm hungry. I'll finish off the watermelon first.

《南怀瑾与彼得·圣吉》，共一百八十五页。
一边看，一边等待
我知道，在彼得一行人临走之前，南师必定要抖一点“猛料”。而一路说的东西，是为了让听众作好准备，将思想和思维朝某个方向引。
果不其然，在倒数第四页，来了。
“现在我们不谈梦了，因为讲思想而讲到梦。我们的思想那么多，自己看不清楚。其实大家静坐下来，是不是知道自己思想那么多啊？譬如诸位坐在这里听的时候，是不是知道有一个很清楚的在听讲话的，有没有？一定有吧！当然有个知道的，那个是知性，不是思想。
“现在我讲话，你们听到，同时你们自己也在分析这个话的道理，对不对？ 起了很多作用，对不对？可是你有一个知道自己在分析、知道自己在听话、知道自己在思想的这个东西，它没有动过，这个东西很清楚。
“所以这个东西不需要你去用力的，不需要你去找的，你自然知道自己思想。搞清楚了吗？起码有一两个搞清楚的吧？假如全体搞清楚，那不得了啦。
“我们知道自己有思想有感觉的，这个是知性，它没有动过。当我们睡觉一醒过来，第一个是这个东西，那个叫‘睡醒了’，很快的，第二个东西--思想来了。是不是这样？
“对，就是那个东西，你把握住。
“自己的思想为什么那么多？这个叫妄想，也可以叫浮想。我们知道的这个妄想，可以分成三个阶段：过去、现在、未来。过去就没有了，未来还没有来，讲现在，现在已经没有了。
“所以你静下来的时候，不要怕妄想多，你那个知性看到妄想，就把握这个。前念已过去，未来还没有来，就看着现在。分成三段。常常这样反省、体会，时间一长，你就会很空灵了。
“如果你把握这个空灵，假如盘腿打坐，越把握得久越好。这个把握久了以后，你的身心、脑力、体力什么都转变了。”
（摘自《南怀瑾与彼得·圣吉--关于禅、生命和认知的对话》，上海人民出版社，ISBN 978-7-208-06790-5/B·561）

This is IT!

明白了
人生的真相是
苦、
无常、
无我

并从
贪嗔痴
入手，
破解不快乐

通过“短”而“恒”的
定时冥想
从根部开始
由本及末
由里及表
清理每日的污染

无需很多仪式
亦无需大声忏悔
只要自己对自己
真正负起责任

不奢望、追求奇迹
以沙门瞿昙终身精进为榜样
凡事认真
不取巧
表里如一
不自欺
终日乾乾
不怠惰

疾病自然远离
烦恼自然剥落
快乐自然降临

这，就是我的修佛观

Two notes on “impress” or “impressive”:

举世瞩目：… has impressed the rest of the world

让我眼前一亮：I find… very impressive

A very good equivalent of “following” (as in “the pop star has a cult following”) is zhui1 peng3. “He has a large following” can be rendered as “zhui1 peng3 ta1 de ren2 hen3 duo1”. It’s a perfect match in such a context… zhui1 and peng3. I suspect that this Chinese phrase was originally coined as a quasi-equivalent of the English word “following”. But this doesn’t apply to “mei2 ti3 de zhui1 peng3” – “media following”? Sounds awkward. “He is very popular with the media”… “he is the darling of the media”.

情不自禁鼓起掌来
Could not contain their feelings any more, so they started clapping their hands/applauding.
Could not help but start applauding.
Etc.

But this version is the shortest and probably the best:
They broke into spontaneous applause.

"My nephew wore a blue jean sunhat that day. When the General Secretary noticed the peak of his hat turned to one side, he asked in passing why he was wearing it askew. I answered on behalf of the child: 'That is to get a clearer view of you.' (是为了把您看得清楚一些) The General Secretary and everyone else laughed knowingly, as if by prior agreement."

When I came to “that is to get a clearer view of you”, I was very tempted to say “that is only to see you better with” (from Little Red Riding Hood), but I resisted the temptation. I hope the person who said it wasn’t referring to the Little Red Riding Hood story.

奶奶，你的耳朵怎么这样大呀？”小红帽说。“为了更好地听你说话呀，乖乖。”“可是奶奶，你的眼睛怎么这样大呀？”小红帽又问。“为了更清楚地看你呀，乖乖。”“奶奶，你的手怎么这样大呀？”“可以更好地抱着你呀。”“奶奶，你的嘴巴怎么大得很吓人呀？”“可以一口把你吃掉呀！”狼刚把话说完，就从床上跳起来，把小红帽吞进了肚子，狼满足了食欲之后便重新躺到床上睡觉，而且鼾声震天。

We come across this phrase 'a hard act to follow' now and again, especially when there are several people taking turns to speak at a conference.

For example, 'thank you, Mr. Chairman. I was mesmerized by Professor Powell's brilliant presentation. That was a hard act to follow, I must say. Of course I won't be so stupid as to try and repeat what Professor Powell said, in my own, less effective words. Instead, I will pick up a few points from his presentation and make an attempt to elaborate on them…'

Here, 'that was a hard act to follow' can be rendered as follows:

刚才鲍教授的发言太精彩了，我的发言充其量只能算是鼠尾续貂罢了。

原来是“狗尾续貂”，但好像不太好听，老鼠可爱一点。

I'm poring over, whenever I have time, Ji Xianlin's book on Buddhism (the linguistic dimension of the evolution of this region) and also one of the Buddhist sutras you gave me (the Long Agama Sutra, chang2 a1 han2 jing1), while I keep up my meditation practice. I have had some questions answered, but many more unanswered. There has been a rather radical 'perspective change' in me and the end result of that is a 'sustainable' sense of peace.

Ji Xianlin's book is a safety valve for me, so I don't get lost in the irrelevant, but luring ramifications of the religion and my reading of the Agama Sutra is confirming Ji's theory. One of his arguments is the evolution of Buddhism from xiao3 sheng4 you3 zong1 (the 'Being' Sect of Hinayana) to da sheng kong zong (the 'Void' Sect of Mahayana) and then to da sheng you zong (the 'Being' Sect of Mahayana), which matches the process of negation, and negation of negation.

If you first read the Agama Sutra and then the Diamond Sutra, they are so contradictory that one gets totally confused.

One thing I've discovered is that unlike Qigong, Buddhism requires a leap of faith first, then takes you from the unreal (fantasy in this realm) to the real (reality in the other realm). It's the first hurdle that is the hardest to step over. I wonder if one can use Taoist meditation to help one get over the first hurdle. From my experience with Qigong, the meditator can get a taste of the energy in the other realm within a very short time. Buddhism has to use imagery, of all the goodies that you crave in this realm, to lure you in. To an intellectual mind, that can't be very effective. But then, Qigong is considered a pagan practice by Buddhism.

I fully understand your to-be-or-not-to-be quandary. It's positive, as it means you are alive. When you are alive, you experience life and are fully in touch with life. When something is amiss or missing in life, you instantly become aware of it.

That's where the appeal of "Love Is in the Air, in a Village" lies.

We, living in the cities, are too far removed from the reality of life, the life that our ancestors lived for millions of years. Urbanisation is a very young process. So, when you see what goes on in a village, when you feel the "earthiness" of the people portrayed in the drama, some memory, in both the conscious mind and the subconscious mind, is brought back, and it chimes with the yearning in your heart.

There's some sort of "completeness" about that life, which is missing in today's urban life. It's self-contained and comforting.

Now, if you watch Jia Zhangke's "Still Life" (San1 Xia2 Hao3 Ren2, or Good People of the Three Gorges), you'll find out how that life in the village becomes the life we are unfamiliar with, in cities.

But don't worry, we, as a race, are evolving still and the city life is a testing ground for each of us. If we can find warmth in a cold place, find solace in an emotional desert, and find purpose in a pointless reality, we triumph. When we triumph, we become "whole". We will never own what is external to us; we must never lose what is inherent in us.

I've also had some quiet weeks, devoted to translation and meditation. This has been a precious few weeks for me.

In some contexts, "画蛇添足" can be rendered as "trying to re-invent the wheel". Of course that only applies to some limited contexts and we shall never use it at international conferences where some smart speaker may then go off on a tangent and start discussing the taxonomy of snakes: Speaking of snakes, there are southern snakes and there are northern snakes. The northern snakes tend to go into deep hibernation in winter, whereas the southern species only take short naps in that season… So, if you add legs to the northern variety in winter, they can't find much use for them; but if you do the southerners, they may decide to crawl out on their newfound limbs now and again when the sun is out. But whoever sees them will scream – look, some novel species of lizard! (Sorry if you find this article perplexing. It refers to an anecdote that you might not know.)

醒来时痛哭一场。

想起了我的父亲。他临终前半年左右，突然迷上了香功，而且进步神速，经常给我写很长的信，里面讲的道理非常深刻，完全超出了我练功十几年的心得。现在看来，香功恐怕属于旁门左道，但田师傅好歹打的是非常明确的佛教的旗号，所以我爸可能在潜意识当中寻找半年后解脱的道路（当时还不知道自己患有绝症）。而且到了后期，喜欢双手合十，口中念阿弥陀佛，对人都这样打招呼，我妈觉得特奇怪，因为田师傅也没有教过这一招。

他脑癌手术之后，在病床上弥留了一个多星期。

有一天，他的一位同事萧老师（练气功很多年，估计实际上是修法的），在打坐时突然看见我父亲“身披金色袈裟，冲天而起”。第二天试探性地问了我母亲，我母亲告诉他，我爸还活着。不过萧老师心里明白，我爸的灵魂已经走了。

我父亲去世后，几个人一交流便有些明白了。就在那一天，我母亲在我爸床边，他突然伸出手来抓住我妈的手，用力捏了捏。我妈好高兴，以为他有希望了。其实他是在跟我妈告别，要我妈坚强一点。

就在那一天，我在香港做了一个梦，梦里我爸来看我们（当时我儿子六个月大），没说什么，用毛笔在卧室的墙上写了“永葆平安”四个字。而且“葆”字是他喜欢用的，有别于别人用的“保”字。

第二天，我前妻告诉我，她在打扫卫生时莫名其妙从墙上抹下黑色的东西，而墙壁却是白的。

就在那一天，我前妻遥遥地感觉到我爸的病床冷掉了。就在那一天，她远在英国的母亲，感觉到我爸到她那里告别（他们从来没见过面）。

也就在那一天，我们一家三口在一个商店里，突然有个衣衫褴褛的独眼老人盯着我怀里的儿子，直直地走过来，握住他的小手，连说：Good boy, good boy。然后声音很响地说了一句：Good-bye!

前妻在一旁已经明白了，不敢告诉我。

就这样，两天后，我爸走了。53岁。

我爸是个非常善良的人。善良到什么程度？看到狗咬不动骨头，他会用榔头一块一块敲碎；我中学时班上出了个小偷，回家告诉爸妈，我爸的第一反应是：哎呀，真可怜，一定是家里太穷了。

但我爸是水产工程师，一辈子繁殖了无数的鱼，也杀了无数的鱼。他那么善良、敏感的性格，是不适合那样的工作的。他第一次杀鸭子是在崇明老家，全家几代人在那里看，等鸭子下锅，他不忍心下手，磨蹭了半天，随后还是没杀死，全家人说他没用。后来我们家下放到农村，他需要经常性地杀鸡，非常痛苦，总是手抖抖地去做，而且很笨拙，村里的农民都会笑他，成为长效笑柄。

但他还是杀了，杀了鱼，杀了鸡。从此，这个业他就背上了。

现在我明白了。

可能就是因为他临终前经常念佛号，使得他走得很干净，连前妻那么敏感的人都感觉不到任何残留的拖挂。这是我最大的安慰。他一辈子挺苦。

他去世后，骨灰一半撒在他奋斗了一辈子的地方、也就是他最心爱的一片湖泊--江苏兴化的“乌金荡”。另外一半埋在他的故乡--上海崇明岛。第一次给他上坟的时候，旁边有几棵非常直挺的树，就在我默祷的时候，来了一阵很强的风，将树叶搅得哗哗响，我抬头一看，一片片叶子在阳光中舞动，正面的绿和反面的白，不断翻转，似笑似歌。

我明白了。

此后，每当我想起父亲（起初有八年时间根本不敢想，一想就落泪），就想起那几棵树、那些舞动的树叶......

The following is my reply to my uncle's email, with a photo of his design attached. The design is of the gate to the technical school where he teaches. He mentioned his intention to move to another working environment, in another city.

非常喜欢你的设计，可以解读出很多含义，而且大气。颜色搭配也是你设计的吗？我觉得恰到好处。
人生一个阶段一个阶段地走，而且往往不是直线，有时有些回归，动极生静，静极生动。我正好在翻译有关歼-10飞机的一篇文章，讲到了一个设计概念，就是“静不安定性”鸭式布局。鸭式布局指的是尾翼在前面，反而不是在尾部，这样将前端水平翼（传统的尾翼）翼尖产生的涡流，吸到主翼上方，增加升力，所以是双升力，而本来尾翼产生的向下升力的平衡性就丧失了。这样一来，飞机飞行灵活了，但操纵容易失稳，所以必须要靠大量的计算机帮助。
我的生涯中有过几个类似的反复，就是将尾翼安装在哪里的选择，是不变求稳，还是求变而失稳？

This is his reply:

我对校门设计的主导创意是那个圆弧顶，象征半本翻开的书，现在大学招生多了，容易进了，稍微有点可能读书的人都想进高中然后进哪怕三流四流大学，象我们这种学校就是一些实在不愿意读书的人或者从小没有好好读书的人来的，那些学生前半部的书没有读好，我希望他们后半本书读读好。还好，我们学校每年倒也有不少学生以同等学历的资格考上了大专，“学一技之长，走技师之路”是校训。